PsL Monthly 1994 January

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% SPIRITUAL mediumistic holy virginal sensitive blessed spiritual telepathic telekenetic E.S.P. gifted % RELATIVE father uncle Amway Sales Rep grandfather grandmother insurance agent son daughter D.E.C. Field Service Rep hollywood agent mother condom salesman aunt postman Jewish faggot I.R.S. man sewer inspector accountant hairlip Avon lady % WEAPON meat cleaver grenade launcher hatchet No-Pest strip machete Roto-Rooter machine tire tool sledge hammer toaster oven plasma rifle (40 watt) chain saw Claymore mine Sears Roto-tiller sabre saw jackhammer aquarium pump samuri sword sawed-off shotgun machine gun cow milking machine Toro chain saw anti-tank weapon RP-7 missle launcher clothes hangar corkscrew 90 watt soldering iron ice pick Ginsu knife electric fence Ronco Veg-O-Matic Black & Decker drill Gatling gun Proctor Silex blender cattle prod 3 phase dildo arc welder axe % GHOST ghost rabid bat-woman poltergist anti-Christ Jimmy Hoffa's ghost demon vampire phantom Satanic witch % RELIGION Buddist Fundamentalist Methodist Holy Roller Seventh Day Adventist Baptist Islamic Mormon Moslem Roman Catholic Sheiite Athiest % UFFO U.F.O. Flying Saucer Space Ship Mother Ship Klingon Battlecruiser Space cruiser USS Enterprise Galactic Cruiser % PLANET Pluto Mars Venus Mercury Neptune Saturn No. Hollywood Jupiter Uranus The Moon % ET Extra-terrestial E.T. space alien alien negro albino humanoid space being cyborg humanoid alien lunar faggot % FRUIT mango tomato banana cherry apple plum pear orange lemon lime % MADNESS Crazed Drug Crazed Insane Manic Depressive Neurotic Psychotic Pedophilic Psychopathic Sexually Perverted Devoted Hermaphrodytic Disfunctional Bestial Religious Fanatical Pathalogical % KILLER MADNESS KILLERX KILLERX MADNESS FRUIT MADNESS KILLERX MADNESS KILLERX % KILLERX Great White Shark Terminator Wombat Ostrich Human foetus Bee Whale Shark Lion Dolphin Four month Embryo Elephant Worm Clam Lobster Horned Toad Tiger Leapord Panda Crocodile % COLOR purple orange violet red green yellow blue white black grey % BODYPART leg brain arm head right nut mouth orifice foreskin tit twat foot left nut testicle ear canal prostate genitals dick prick furburger anus shoulder elbow penis nose anus ear % MCELEB Frank Sinatra Michael Jackson Mort Downey Jr. Pee Wee Herman Rodney Dangerfield Spuds McKinsey Phil Donahue David Letterman Bill Gates John Dvorak Sirhan Sirhan Ted Bundy Steve Jobs Richard Pryor Ed Asner William F. Buckley Gerald Ford Jimmy Carter Henry Kissenger George Bush Son-of-Sam Dustin Hoffman Robert DeNiro Michael J. Fox George Burns Chuck Berry Mike Tyson Jimmy Swaggart Jim Bakker Phil Collins Justin Wilson Orvile Reddenbacher Wayne Newton Tony Orlando John Denver Frank Zappa Mick Jagger Donny Osmond Johnny Carson Richard Nixon Adolph Hitlers Son John Wayne Gacey Charlie Manson Elvis Presley's ghost Prince Charles % FCELEB Princess Diana Queen Elizabeth Linda Lovelace Oprah Winfrey Betty Ford Jane Fonda Tammy Bakker Linda Evans Suzanne Sommers Patty Hearst Jane Russell Madonna Joan Collins Joan Rivers Betty White Diane Keaton Debra Winger Cissy Spacek Jody Foster Phyllis Diller Sophie Tucker Leslie Gore Joan Baez Carrol Burnett Lucille Ball Dr. Joyce Brothers Dr. Ruth Westheimer Elizabeth Taylor Nancy Reagan Linda Ronstadt % BABY baby child rug rat seven month foetus young toddler infant son bastard child daughter % ATE ate kidnapped fucked shit on pissed on sodomized butt fucked porked stroked cornholed french kissed killed maimed injured raped % SAYS says reveals admits claims % SAY say reveal admit claim warn % DOCTOR doctor psychologist faggot neurologist gynecologist lawyer psychiatrist physician urologist proctologist neurologist dentist optician % SCIENTIST scientist Chemist Bio-Chemist Physicist Mechanical Engineer meta-physicist cobol programmer Petroleum Engineer Unix hacker Engineer Human God Nuclear Physicist computer scientist Ada programmer Genetic Researcher Professor Electrical Engineer AI Expert Pattern Researcher % NATIONALIT Russian Soviet British Polish French Belgian Swiss German Spanish Mexican American Canadian Australian Chinese Japanese % DESEASE Herpes Aids Crotch Rot Impacted Genitals Brain Death Strained Spleen Liver Death Tooth Decay Allergic Reaction Bladder Rupture Plague Dick Decay Toxic Shock Pre-Menstrual Syndrome Penis Envy Leprosy V.D. Pre-frontal Lobotomy Back Strain Hemmoroids Asshole Itch % FICTCHAR Santa Claus Bigfoot Snow White Ollie North God Buddah Mr. Natural Lord Satan Beaver Cleaver Mr.Ed Howdy Doody Liberace Lee Harvey Oswald Jim & Tammy Bakker John Lennon Mary Poppins The Loch Ness Monster The Wicked Witch The Wizard of Oz Captain Kirk Jim Morrison Harry Houdini Henry VIII Adolph Hitler Virgin Mary The Pope Plastic Turd Rev. Jim Jones Jimmy Hoffa Jimi Hendrix Lucifer Ayatolla Khomeni Benito Mussolini Batman Superman Jesus Christ Spiderman % KILL kill murder maim slaughter crucify mutilate mug % NUMBER NUMBER1 twenty NUMBER1 thirty NUMBER1 forty NUMBER1 fifty NUMBER1 sixty NUMBER1 seventy NUMBER1 eighty NUMBER1 ninety NUMBER1 % NUMBER1 two three four five six seven eight nine % FOOD Taco Pink Burrito Used Tampon Used Condom FRUIT Enchilada Burrito Chile Relleno Tostada % PERSON Heavyweight Champ MADNESS KILLERX Football player MADNESS SCIENTIST Mortician Social Worker TV Personality SCIENTIST Game Show Host NATIONALIT DOCTOR Car Salesman TV Evangelist State Senator Unix Programmer Notorius Snake Rapist Politician SCIENTIST Martial Arts Instructor Student NATIONALIT Student Hindu Yoga ET % AIRCRAFT Helicopter Hot air balloon UFO B-52 SR-71 B-17 F-15 747 DC10 % CELEB MCELEB FCELEB % ADJECTIVE erect flaccid volatile sacrificial monotonic ritual ultra-violet incestuous sensuous pulsating turbo-charged jet-propelled geriatric sub-normal ecstatic sick hard slimy wonderful grotesque magnanimous horny indecent homicidal homosexual lesbian pusillanimous hyperbolic ethereal synthetic narcotic hallucinogenic alcoholic radio-active % NOUN tribble warp drive laxative yogurt iron lung atomic bomb hard-on shit vomit cocaine aphrodisiac diahrrea yellow submarine erection ejaculation floppy disk inflatable woman hyperdrive removable cartridge ion drive invertible matrix black tar opium bucket of piss peanut butter laser software hardware disk-pack PDP11/70 carp U.S.S. Enterprise core-dump chicken sandwich banana coke machine super-nova head-hunter aardvark wombat Klingon Space Cruiser gorilla Tyrannasaurus Rex tape transport % NAME Rev Sun Myung Moon Menachim Begin Darth Vader Yoda Princess Leia Jim and Tammy Bakker Luke Skywalker Obi Wan Kenobi E.T. Hare Krishna Godzilla Robby the Robot Buddah Princess Diana Prince Charles Ronald Reagan Tony Orlando John Kennedy Winnie the Pooh Leonardo Da Vinci Genghis Khan Michaelangelo Gunga Din Robert E. Lee P.T. Barnum Robert Browning Margaret Thatcher Abraham Lincoln Jimmy Carter Jane Fonda Barney Phife Mata Hari Liza Minnelli Frodo Gandalf Seargent York James T. Kirk Spock Uhura Dr Armand Hammer % VERB massacre murder magnify debug violate rotate fuck pinch thrash abandon destroy pre-process gestate generate fornicate laminate herniate correlate dilate articulate erect rip out grope sacrifice idolize jellify adulterate hallucinate fondle carress suck project incarcerate % PLACE The World Beyond Redwood City Australia Nevada John Lennon's grave Austin, Texas Outer Space Oral Robert's toilet England San Franciso Castro Street San Jose L.A. New York Orlando, Florida Missouri Middle Earth Planet Vulcan Elvis Presley's grave Fremont Airport White House Tokyo Paris sewers Faggot bar Transylvania Times Square Wall Street N.Y. Shopping Center P.T.L's Heritage Park Hog trough Israel Beirut East St. Louis Frodo's hobbit-hole B.B.C. television center Dr. Who's Tardis Red Square Yoko Ono's cunt Kremlin Monte Carlo Pork slaughterhouse Nirvana % CODE CONST\TRAIL\ CONST\ TRAIL\CONST\ CONST\ CONST\ CONST\ CONST\TRAIL\ CONST\ CONST\ CONST\ % TRAILER PERSON reveals all. Exclusive pictures inside. SCIENTIST|s offer undeniable proof. Graphic pictures inside. SCIENTIST tells whole story.. RELATIVE wittnessed it all. Exclusive story from PLACE . "The truth is finally out"... Exclusive report by RELIGION PERSON . Photographic evidence offers proof. % CONST "Killer KILLER|s from PLANET ATE my BABY " SAYS CELEB ! " CELEB is really ET from PLANET " SAYS CELEB ! CELEB SAYS ,"Hearbreak Hotel played backwards says, VERB the ADJECTIVE NOUN " RELIGION PERSON wins contest by eating NUMBER FOOD|s in 10 minutes! MCELEB and FCELEB Secretly Wed in PLACE , Its official.. ET BABY from PLANET ATE DOCTOR during ADJECTIVE Air Force Investigation! MADNESS PERSON KILL|s GHOST with WEAPON in PLACE ! "My BODYPART turned into a WEAPON ", SAYS MADNESS RELATIVE ! "I dreamed NAME gave me NOUN in PLACE ", SAYS CELEB ! Eating FRUIT|s can give you DESEASE , SAY ADJECTIVE DOCTOR|s! Rubbing NOUN|s on your genitals increases life span, SAY NATIONALIT DOCTOR|s! " MCELEB explored my BODYPART with heat lamp..", SAYS CELEB ! " ET|s from PLANET gave me DESEASE " SAYS CELEB ! PERSON Raped by ADJECTIVE faggot hairdressers NUMBER times. " FICTCHAR is for real". ADJECTIVE SCIENTIST|s come up with undeniable proof! CELEB claims," FICTCHAR knew how to VERB a NOUN NUMBER years ago". " MCELEB is really my father", SAYS CELEB ! " FCELEB is really my mother", SAYS CELEB ! CELEB KILL|s NUMBER PERSON|s in drunken rampage. "Elvis died from NOUN lodged in his BODYPART " ,claims MADNESS DOCTOR ! NATIONALIT SCIENTIST|s discover lost city of PLACE ! " CELEB is really ET from PLANET " SAYS RELIGION SCIENTIST|s CELEB Falls NUMBER thousand feet out of AIRCRAFT ... and survives. " ET|s from PLANET landed in my garden and ATE NUMBER FRUIT|s " SAYS CELEB ! PERSON says, "Elvis appeared in PLACE ,he weighs NUMBER thousand pounds!" FCELEB tells of night of terror with MCELEB "He abused me with WEAPON "! " ET|s from PLACE raped my BABY with WEAPON ". SAYS CELEB ! " ADJECTIVE NOUN|s can't make us VERB our RELATIVE|s", SAYS candidate MCELEB ! "I've always admired FICTCHAR|'s BODYPART ", claims MCELEB at Hollywood party! FCELEB Gives birth to NUMBER BABY|s! ADJECTIVE RELATIVE meets FICTCHAR when captured by UFFO ! "Live KILLERX screwed repeatedly by PERSON ",say SCIENTIST|s! GHOST haunts the home of CELEB ,"It claims it is FICTCHAR !" SCIENTIST|s discover NAME in PLACE ! " FICTCHAR ATE my BABY ", SAYS PERSON ! RELIGION Monks report UFFO Sighting in PLACE ! MCELEB and MCELEB discovered in ADJECTIVE love nest in PLACE ! An embarassed CELEB caught in PLACE , in bed with RELIGION PERSON ! RELIGION Monks drink CELEB|'s urine for longevity.! CELEB KILL|s NUMBER PERSON|s for stealing the NOUN ! NATIONALIT RELIGION PERSON tears BODYPART from NATIONALIT RELIGION PERSON ! FCELEB claims RELIGION SCIENTIST ATE her RELATIVE ! Ghost Busters Excorcise GHOST from CELEB|'s home in PLACE ! MADNESS ET from PLANET elected mayor of PLACE ! BABY shot in BODYPART by Pet KILLER ! NATIONALIT NOUN discovered by SCIENTIST in motel room in PLACE ! CELEB KILL|s NUMBER PERSON|s for screwing a German Shepherd. "I VERB|ed him in bed with NOUN ",claims FCELEB about MCELEB . Robin Givens settles for only NUMBER million from Tyson, as she marries MCELEB ! MADNESS PERSON ATE NOUN in CELEB|'s toilet! BABY KILL|ed by Pet KILLER ! PLACE|'s amazing KILLER Girl! "I killed my own RELATIVE with WEAPON ,then VERB|ed a NOUN for hours! MADNESS PERSON SAYS GHOST has MCELEB|'s BODYPART hidden in AIRCRAFT ! "I knew it was bad when my BODYPART turned COLOR ", SAYS CELEB from hospital! FCELEB SAYS ," MCELEB and MCELEB ATE FCELEB at motel in PLACE !" DOCTOR and SCIENTIST predict NATIONALIT DESEASE epdemic! DOCTOR SAYS ,"Near end Elvis took NUMBER thousand percodan daily for DESEASE ! PERSON goes beserk and KILL|s NUMBER PERSON|s with WEAPON ! MCELEB tells of night of terror with FCELEB "She abused me with WEAPON "! NATIONALIT DOCTOR proves FICTCHAR died of DESEASE NUMBER years ago! MADNESS FRUIT from UFFO KILL|s NUMBER ADJECTIVE RELATIVE|s with WEAPON ! CELEB SAYS " CELEB attacked my RELATIVE with WEAPON "! ADJECTIVE NOUN|s cause erections among RELIGION SCIENTIST|s in PLACE garage! FRUIT|s have SPIRITUAL powers, say RELIGION SCIENTIST|s. "Surgeon left WEAPON in my BODYPART after NUMBER hour DESEASE operation!" RELATIVE SAYS " CELEB ATE my WEAPON in back seat of AIRCRAFT "! FCELEB SAYS ," FCELEB ATE MCELEB in MCELEB|'s hot tub!" CELEB SAYS ,"I grew up thinking I was RELIGION NOUN from PLACE ! NATIONALIT SCIENTIST|s discover CELEB|'s anus! PERSON sees face of FICTCHAR in FOOD ! CELEB claims to have balled NAME ,exclusive ADJECTIVE story. " FICTCHAR ATE my genitals", SAYS PERSON ! MADNESS NATIONALIT peasant girl gives birth to ADJECTIVE KILLERX ! PLACE will be site of ADJECTIVE RELIGION NOUN Shrine! NATIONALIT SCIENTIST|s produce SPIRITUAL KILLER Girl. PERSON claims ET|s on UFFO forced him to eat NAME|'s BODYPART ! Elvis killed himself with NUMBER WEAPON|s , while FCELEB watched! ET dies of DESEASE in NATIONALIT Howard Johnson's toilet bowl! PERSON KILL|s NUMBER PERSON|s with WEAPON then aquitted by Jury. MADNESS MCELEB cuts off BODYPART in RELIGION House of Pancakes! MCELEB is hospitalized with DESEASE while searching for FICTCHAR in PLACE ! DOCTOR|s SAY " NOUN|s can cure DESEASE if used early!" MADNESS DOCTOR ATE SPIRITUAL ET from PLANET in PLACE ! NUMBER1 PERSON|s VERB NOUN|s during MADNESS RELIGION Revival Meeting! NUMBER Years for WEAPON Murderer. "I would do it again" says CELEB ! CELEB was there! Elivs's last words were " VERB the ADJECTIVE NOUN !" Tammy Bakker SAYS "Jim had sex with FCELEB and MCELEB at the same time!" PERSON Struck by lightning in BODYPART over NUMBER times. Jury aquit Notorious WEAPON Murderer from PLACE ! "He brutalized my ADJECTIVE NOUN ", SAYS FCELEB about ex-lover MCELEB ! Message from Elvis in NOUN ,"I am living with FICTCHAR now !" MCELEB and FCELEB seen together in PLACE "Is it love"? RELATIVE passes turd with face of NAME say RELIGION SCIENTIST ! PERSON|'s bizarre claim. " NAME planted mind control device in my head". "Is there a FICTCHAR ?". NATIONALIT SCIENTIST|s offer new evidence. " FICTCHAR rubbed vaseline on my ADJECTIVE BODYPART ", SAYS PERSON ! PERSON|'s bizarre claim. " SCIENTIST|s planted vibrator up my ass!". The Beatles KILL|ed NUMBER fans with WEAPON|s at 1966 concert in PLACE ! % %